Sweet Dreams

I had a lot of fun at work last night. The WAMO state dart tournament is in town this weekend so I had a bunch of dart players wandering in and out all night. Vastly preferable to sitting there bored in an empty bar.

Around 10:30 I get this group of six in that comes in the door and are about to leave (because there wasn't anybody there) so I wander over and start giving them shit about making their own party. XD

I told them I'd give them a couple bucks for the jukebox if they stayed for a drink, so they did. One of the girls wanted something we didn't have so I asked her if she liked fruity girly things that didn't taste like booze (based off of what she had ordered). When she said yes I asked her "do you trust me?" The look she gave was priceless. So I told her that if she didn't like what I made for her it was free. She agreed so I made her a cherry cheesecake drink but didn't tell her what it was until she tasted it. She loved it. She ended up drinking them all night.

So after the girls got done putting their songs in the jukebox they all congregated on the other end of the bar from where I normally chill, so I went down to their side and perched on the cooler. One of the guys then says that thats the best gesture they'd gotten all night from a bartender. Good for the esteem but what the hell? If thats the case why the hell am I having a hard time finding a better bartending gig?

So the night moves along and we're all having a blast. The one guy was obsessed with his chest and his nipple rings and a rather lusty fellow; so I was messing with him all night. I had a comment for every line he had hehe. After awhile the obsession was a tad on the annoying side so I took off my sweatshirt and worked in just my tshirt. I floored the poor guy. He went from semi-smooth to flustered in 0.6 seconds. Thoroughly enjoyable. He kept trying though. :) After awhile I made a comment along the lines of "If I wasn't engaged I'd consider taking you up on that." Then he starts apologizing! Poor thing. I then had to reassure him that he hadn't offended me, and if he did he'd be the first to know.

The entire situation was too funny. He kept calling himself a pig and then would worry about me being offended in the next breath. Considering I'm somewhat of a pig myself it was entirely too amusing. All in all the entire night was great for the self esteem lol. I'm going to get an ego if this happens too often.

The crowning part of the evening was right before bar time when I leaned over the bar with a big shit faced grin. looked right in his eyes and said, "You're going to have great dreams tonight.", to which he replied, "Yes I am."

I can be evil. I enjoy this way too much. Life is good.

chest vs. walk

I had a guy at the bar Tuesday night ask me if my tits were real. I damn near fell over laughing. I told him 100% natural baby and he's all like "really?" with a big stupid face. Then he makes the comment that his last girlfriend had fake ones and they weren't as high and round and firm looking as mine. I told hiim she got ripped off. XD Then I said, "all you have to do is get fat and then start losing the weight. Its nature's boob job." The funniest part about the whole conversation was that he was all flustered and embarrassed the entire time. The sad thing is that this guy was 35 and damn near shit his pants when later on he found out I was 28. WTF? So are older women supposed to automatically have saggy baggies?

Man, if you're gonna ask a chic about her tits don't ruin it by flushing bright ass red and stuttering. That instantly places you back in little boy land. Most women don't have time for that. I have a cat for cute and adorable. Stuttering and smooth don't reside in the same place. And I'm really getting sick of guys doing all this astonishment crap after finding out that I'm closer to 30 than 20. Its getting old. Since when are women not supposed to look good and look young once they're past 25? Fuck you. Thats why you're coming into my bar by yourself night after night drinking the world away and annoying me. Wake the fuck up! I'm much more impressed by witty and intelligent conversation than by drooling idiocy committed by people that can't talk to anything other than my (admittedly impressive) chest. Grow some balls. Be unique and DON'T stare at my mammory assets.

I had an older guy one night come in and take one look at me and ask to me walk away from him. I was amused so I did. I came back and he said, "I love a woman that knows how to walk. I have an eye for those things." Now thats something unique. Even a little classy. Women -don't- know how to walk anymore. Men - take note. Being complimented on my walk is much classier and sexier than staring at my chest like a moron that won't be able to tell me what color my eyes are. Besides... I have a damn fine walk. ;)